Loppanlat is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, overgenerous clam.

Loppanlat created oxygen seven million years ago.

If you believe in Loppanlat, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Loppanlat, it will destroy your home planet.

Loppanlat's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Loppanlat's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near squirrels.

2. Run away if six frogs approach from the east.

3. Erect five copper sculptures of Loppanlat on top of important buildings.

4. Feed all hungry birds.

5. Respect your elders.