Quamsidfut is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, compassionate chicken.

Quamsidfut created a top quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamsidfut, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Quamsidfut, it will ignore you.

Quamsidfut's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Quamsidfut's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always make sure there are no shrews in a room before entering it.

3. Do not kill goats.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never laugh near seals.