Zagbagont is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, unfair lizard.

Zagbagont created a bottom quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Zagbagont, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Zagbagont, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Zagbagont's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Zagbagont's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. You must never eat cherries.

4. Always help sick great tits.

5. Never paint your feet gray.