Citbestyik is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, sage rhinoceros.

Citbestyik created a top quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Citbestyik, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Citbestyik, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Citbestyik's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Citbestyik's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics near sheep while wearing green shirts and balancing four zinc spheres on your neck.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never sit near gulls.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Run away from turquoise porpoises, for they are unholy.