Gadcabfon is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, contented jackal.

Gadcabfon created the cosmos nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gadcabfon, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gadcabfon, she will torture you forever.

Gadcabfon's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Gadcabfon's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never feed garlic to badgers while wearing turquoise scarves.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never wear corsets.

5. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.