Kopruttmoblenflambestjon is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, vain hummingbird.

Kopruttmoblenflambestjon created Mount Everest three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kopruttmoblenflambestjon, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Kopruttmoblenflambestjon, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Kopruttmoblenflambestjon's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Kopruttmoblenflambestjon's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never write about eukaryotes.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near tapirs while wearing green stockings and balancing five platinum spheres on your neck.

4. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.