Sagpadben is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, loving aardvark.

Sagpadben created the planet Venus six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sagpadben, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sagpadben, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Sagpadben's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Sagpadben's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Run away if six cats approach from the west.

3. Never think ill of sick mites.

4. Never talk about dark matter near horses while wearing black shorts.

5. Never look in ponds.