Benvadtarg is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, slow tapir.

Benvadtarg created Africa eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Benvadtarg, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Benvadtarg, it will laugh at you.

Benvadtarg's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Benvadtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near pigs while wearing brown hats and balancing nine silver spheres on your back.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism.

3. Learn three new languages a year.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Put Benvadtarg first in all things.