Vonkkikham is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, moody centipede.

Vonkkikham created matter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkkikham, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vonkkikham, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Vonkkikham's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Vonkkikham's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never write about asteroids.