Dissqueegstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, uncaring seal.

Dissqueegstaf created the cosmos six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dissqueegstaf, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dissqueegstaf, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Dissqueegstaf's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Dissqueegstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about solid mechanics.

2. Never eat garlic.

3. Do not speak about strawberries.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.