Pigbast is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, unfair seal.

Pigbast created Asia three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pigbast, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pigbast, she will be very unhappy.

Pigbast's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Pigbast's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Erect five silver sculptures of Pigbast on top of important buildings.

5. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.