Kaddavtan is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, capable rat.

Kaddavtan created the Cigar Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kaddavtan, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kaddavtan, it will destroy your favourite star.

Kaddavtan's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Kaddavtan's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not drink alcohol.