Gamvanvig is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, benevolent squid.

Gamvanvig created everything that exists four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gamvanvig, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gamvanvig, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Gamvanvig's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Gamvanvig's Holy Commandments

1. Dogs are not to be trusted.

2. Never talk about manatees.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.