Bonfunfud Kipjadrull is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, ill-tempered dingo.

Bonfunfud Kipjadrull created bats six million years ago.

If you believe in Bonfunfud Kipjadrull, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bonfunfud Kipjadrull, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bonfunfud Kipjadrull's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Bonfunfud Kipjadrull's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never wear yellow shorts.

3. Do not hurt dogs.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not chop down trees.