Yatwonzed is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, loving human.

Yatwonzed created the Sol system five billion years ago.

If you believe in Yatwonzed, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yatwonzed, it will turn you into a slug.

Yatwonzed's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Yatwonzed's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Erect a large lead sculpture of Yatwonzed on top of all buildings.

5. Always look after injured snakes.