Kinyarp is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, fast spider.

Kinyarp created time and space five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kinyarp, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Kinyarp, she will be very unhappy.

Kinyarp's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Kinyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not speak about grapes.

3. Do not laugh in public.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Run away if seven sheep approach from the east.