Habteenhud is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, cheerful squid.

Habteenhud created humanity three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Habteenhud, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Habteenhud, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Habteenhud's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Habteenhud's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck black.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Habteenhud must be the most important thing in your life.

4. You must pray to Habteenhud three times a day.

5. Never talk about special relativity near seals while wearing magenta shirts and balancing six gold spheres on your arms.