Flaphabgum is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, effective raven.

Flaphabgum created a Higgs boson twelve years ago.

If you believe in Flaphabgum, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flaphabgum, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Flaphabgum's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Flaphabgum's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Flaphabgum.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never paint your arms red.