Dagkomkin is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, uncaring fairy.

Dagkomkin created an electron six million years ago.

If you believe in Dagkomkin, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dagkomkin, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Dagkomkin's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Dagkomkin's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt swans.

2. Never sing in the presence of mice.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Erect four carbon sculptures of Dagkomkin on top of important buildings.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.