Teenbapsaspak is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, merciful bat.

Teenbapsaspak created oxygen four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenbapsaspak, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Teenbapsaspak, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Teenbapsaspak's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Teenbapsaspak's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Teenbapsaspak.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not speak about corn.