Vilcathogafkarzag is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, bad-tempered squirrel.

Vilcathogafkarzag created matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vilcathogafkarzag, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vilcathogafkarzag, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Vilcathogafkarzag's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Vilcathogafkarzag's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never wear tights.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always pray immersed in water.