Jarnarfbantarp Negbegdoss is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, wise human.

Jarnarfbantarp Negbegdoss created Africa two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jarnarfbantarp Negbegdoss, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Jarnarfbantarp Negbegdoss, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Jarnarfbantarp Negbegdoss' most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Jarnarfbantarp Negbegdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Run away from black snails, for they are unholy.

2. You must never eat bananas.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Worship no other gods but Jarnarfbantarp Negbegdoss.