Vonkcetcit is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, humorless armadillo.

Vonkcetcit created Asia eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkcetcit, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vonkcetcit, it will turn you into a goat.

Vonkcetcit's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Vonkcetcit's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Vonkcetcit.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in green.

4. Feed all hungry goats.

5. Never write about comets.