Cisscatlapzim Lakpagtonstig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, pitiless tapir.

Cisscatlapzim Lakpagtonstig created the planet Earth twelve years ago.

If you believe in Cisscatlapzim Lakpagtonstig, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cisscatlapzim Lakpagtonstig, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Cisscatlapzim Lakpagtonstig's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Cisscatlapzim Lakpagtonstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair orange.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

4. Always look after injured frogs.

5. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.