Janarnarm is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, happy jackal.

Janarnarm created the universe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Janarnarm, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Janarnarm, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Janarnarm's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Janarnarm's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat onions.

2. Never go into magenta rooms.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Janarnarm.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.