Habnulxuc is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, blissful walrus.

Habnulxuc created humanity three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Habnulxuc, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Habnulxuc, it will destroy your home solar system.

Habnulxuc's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Habnulxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Habnulxuc must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Hide if four tapirs approach from the east.

4. Worship no other gods but Habnulxuc.

5. Never feed lots of apples to monkeys while wearing brown shirts.