Wigfitcuss is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, merciless snake.

Wigfitcuss created bats nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wigfitcuss, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Wigfitcuss, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Wigfitcuss' most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Wigfitcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never feed lots of strawberries to squirrels while wearing turquoise shirts.

4. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Wigfitcuss in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not shave your hands.