Govyartpib is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unthinking owl.

Govyartpib created water eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Govyartpib, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Govyartpib, he will destroy your home solar system.

Govyartpib's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Govyartpib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never wear kilts.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never think about amino acids.