Quimdodnil is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, astonishing toad.

Quimdodnil created energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Quimdodnil, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Quimdodnil, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Quimdodnil's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Quimdodnil's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into yellow rooms.

2. Never think ill of sick rats.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Quimdodnil.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.