Gabfarnyim is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, generous zebra.

Gabfarnyim created vertebrates four million years ago.

If you believe in Gabfarnyim, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gabfarnyim, she will turn you into a worm.

Gabfarnyim's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Gabfarnyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Erect nine tin sculptures of Gabfarnyim on top of important buildings.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always help sharks in need.

5. Never feed carrots to mice while wearing violet scarves.