Nillfuttinham is a god.

She takes the form of a small, resourceful spider.

Nillfuttinham created the Milkyway seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nillfuttinham, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Nillfuttinham, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Nillfuttinham's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Nillfuttinham's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.

2. Never laugh in the presence of mice.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Nillfuttinham must be the most important thing in your life.