Batbinzit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, conceited whale.

Batbinzit created matter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Batbinzit, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Batbinzit, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Batbinzit's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Batbinzit's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Batbinzit.

2. Never look at galaxies.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never think about planets.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.