Stik is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, fussy aardvark.

Stik created dark matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stik, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Stik, it will throw large rocks at you.

Stik's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Stik's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed garlic to whales while wearing yellow tights.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Stik must be the most important thing in your life.