Kimjinpit Bimtifvolgen Rulnillpop is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, self-assured snake.

Kimjinpit Bimtifvolgen Rulnillpop created dark matter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kimjinpit Bimtifvolgen Rulnillpop, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kimjinpit Bimtifvolgen Rulnillpop, she will turn you into a goat.

Kimjinpit Bimtifvolgen Rulnillpop's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Kimjinpit Bimtifvolgen Rulnillpop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in white rooms.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never write about galaxies.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

5. Always help sick grasshopers.