Nartrutzan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, uncaring bear.

Nartrutzan created a quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nartrutzan, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nartrutzan, he will have a low opinion of you.

Nartrutzan's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Nartrutzan's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Nartrutzan.

2. You must never eat wheat.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.