Volbagnel is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, unselfish tortoise.

Volbagnel created Africa nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Volbagnel, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Volbagnel, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Volbagnel's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Volbagnel's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

4. Never mention porpoises.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.