Jigcarkar Zagnillboptam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, two-faced wolf.

Jigcarkar Zagnillboptam created a quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jigcarkar Zagnillboptam, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jigcarkar Zagnillboptam, it will turn you into a hamster.

Jigcarkar Zagnillboptam's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Jigcarkar Zagnillboptam's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Jigcarkar Zagnillboptam.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Never bounce in holy places.