Nantettiarf is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, awesome bear.

Nantettiarf created Africa six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nantettiarf, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nantettiarf, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Nantettiarf's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Nantettiarf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always help sick otters.

3. Hide from indigo rats for they are unholy.

4. You must love Nantettiarf.

5. Do not covet oxen.