Higsaftonk is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, emotional newt.

Higsaftonk created silver eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Higsaftonk, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Higsaftonk, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Higsaftonk's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Higsaftonk's Holy Commandments

1. Erect six aluminium sculptures of Higsaftonk on top of important buildings.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never skip in the presence of monkeys.

4. Do not speak about carrots.

5. Never talk about gravity.