Banbarnbit Fossnillbod is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, dishonest badger.

Banbarnbit Fossnillbod created bats three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Banbarnbit Fossnillbod, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Banbarnbit Fossnillbod, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Banbarnbit Fossnillbod's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Banbarnbit Fossnillbod's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never eat pineapples.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never pour water over plants.