Farshavtim is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, clever lizard.

Farshavtim created an up quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Farshavtim, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Farshavtim, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Farshavtim's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Farshavtim's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Farshavtim.

2. Always wear fawn.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Farshavtim must be the most important thing in your life.

5. You must love Farshavtim.