Hakfundav is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, dishonourable squirrel.

Hakfundav created vertebrates eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakfundav, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Hakfundav, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Hakfundav's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Hakfundav's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt manatees.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Run away from white ants, for they are unholy.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not drink alcohol.