Kapvolomin is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, benevolent grasshopper.

Kapvolomin created the solar system eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapvolomin, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kapvolomin, it will be very unhappy.

Kapvolomin's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Kapvolomin's Holy Commandments

1. Moths are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Put Kapvolomin first in all things.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. You must never eat beans.

5. Never mention ducks.