Gonbassfut is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, merciless swallow.

Gonbassfut created life two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonbassfut, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gonbassfut, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Gonbassfut's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Gonbassfut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always treat goats with great respect.

3. Do not shave your chest.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.