Japtimnutt is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, effective dragon.

Japtimnutt created dark energy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Japtimnutt, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Japtimnutt, he will turn you into a goat.

Japtimnutt's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Japtimnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never feed apples to swans while wearing orange boots.

3. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Do not wear titanium on your body.