Dutbaf is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, contented dove.

Dutbaf created water four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dutbaf, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dutbaf, it will throw large rocks at you.

Dutbaf's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Dutbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear zinc on your body.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never paint your face violet.

4. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

5. Do not make images of living things.