Yotlistjip is a god.

It takes the form of a small, bad-tempered capybara.

Yotlistjip created an up quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yotlistjip, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Yotlistjip, it will turn you into a worm.

Yotlistjip's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Yotlistjip's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think about moons.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Hide from turquoise doves for they are unholy.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.