Santitbom is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, cheerful squid.

Santitbom created energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Santitbom, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Santitbom, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Santitbom's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Santitbom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Do not dye your hair fawn.

4. Always help goats in need.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.