Gepvednar is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, staggering unicorn.

Gepvednar created the planet Mars five million years ago.

If you believe in Gepvednar, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gepvednar, it will cry a lot.

Gepvednar's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Gepvednar's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured snails.

2. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.