Toftettiqueeg Larpbopran is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, boastful shark.

Toftettiqueeg Larpbopran created silver four million years ago.

If you believe in Toftettiqueeg Larpbopran, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Toftettiqueeg Larpbopran, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Toftettiqueeg Larpbopran's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Toftettiqueeg Larpbopran's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention otters.

2. Do not hurt cats.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always obey Toftettiqueeg Larpbopran's priests.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.